It has been four months since I went to Rhode Island to donate and there has been a lot going on so I thought it would be good to update everyone on the happenings.
One month post-transplant my recipient was out of the hospital and doing well. I was told that he had to remain near his transplant center for a while so that he could go to daily appointments but that he would likely be able to go home again soon. I haven't heard anymore, partly due to my own lack of correspondence which I plan on remedying after I finish this blog.
The same week I found out my recipient was doing well I graduated from college magna cum laude on my Nana's 66th birthday. It was an amazing day.
A week later my Nan collapsed after a doctor's appointment, banging her head as she fell and had to be admitted to the hospital for a week. The doctors (heart doctor & lung doctor) refused to listen to anything we told them and instead played the blame game with one another. We had to fight with the hospital to get them to send my Nan home with oxygen (her blood oxygen levels were in the 70%s, it only needs to be under 88% in order for home oxygen). We hoped that the oxygen would help, and it did, but there was still something wrong and every doctor we saw didn't care. Her regular doctor told her she couldn't ask questions "because she was scheduled for a 15 minute appointment and she'd used 13 minutes already" (not verbatum but this is actually what a medical doctor told a woman who had just been in the hospital for a week).
On July 24th my heart was broken forever when my Mom found my Nan dead in her home. I was the last person to see my Nan alive (Friday the 23rd). I am very grateful for the time I spent with her that day but I am also struggling with my own guilt. Even though I know it is illogical I keep asking myself "What did I miss? What could I have done? Did I not see something I should have?" There is an emptiness in my heart I fear will never leave. My Nan was like a second mother to me. She helped my mother raise me and losing her has shaken my world. I wake up every morning and go to bed every night sad at the loss of such an amazing person and mad at medicine for failing her.
I am going to end this post now as I am getting myself quite upset. Once I hear back from Doreen I will update again.
